Author Topic: Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)  (Read 6704 times)

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Offline Raziel

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« on: August 31, 2005, 03:38:35 PM »
So heres the first draft :D ( I plan on adding a diffrent joing if the pc meet Sashas req for the romance, After all she is a demon she is ruled by passion, She wont bother hiding her attraction for the pc):
If Haer'Dalis hasn't been freed:

Sasha: Wha-!?
Oh, by the bloody abbyss, don't sneak up on me like that! (hiss!) What do you want?

1) Who are you and what are you doing here?
2) Nothing. I'll be leaving.

if 1-
Sasha: Nosy critter, aren't you? Fine, my name is....Sasha, and I'm just inspecting this fine tiefling slave. Isn't he just gorgeous?

3) I suppose so.
4) Why are you so interested in a half-fiend?

if 3-
Sasha: Isn't he? Hehe...

4) Why are you so interested in a half-fiend?

if 4-
Sasha: Because I'm one of his race, little man/woman.

5) A half-fiend!? DIE!!
6) I see. How the hell did you get out of the abbyss, pardon the pun.

if 5-
Sasha: Prejudiced idiot! (hiss!) The blood runs across the planes! YAAAAAAH!!!
Enemy()Attack()

if 6-
Sasha: It's an odd tale, really. I was walking across the hot floors of Carceri, where I was born, while I was picking my teeth with a piece of obsidian stone. When I suddenly cut my cheek, a portal opened, which startled me and so I fell in and ended up here...in this..."Amn"...world.

It's fine, though. I have nothing to fear. Besides, new places are always fun. The people here are such fools! They don't realise the danger of dealing with a tana'ri.

7) Yes, I agree. They are better off dying on the end of a cold steel blade. Or a rusty spike. Whichever suits your desires best.
8 ) That's only because most have rarely seen a planar demoness before, of course. If they knew more about you, they'd be scrambling in terror.
9) They're defenseless. Why terrorize them?

if 7-
Sasha: Hmm....you really are a cruel one, aren't you? Mmmhmm...excellent. Say...what do you say if we team up for a while? You know....cause some serious havoc together? Hmm?

10) Feisty, aren't you? Fine, fiendling. Let's see what you've got up your sleeves...or down your-
11) No, thanks. Havoc is fine, but I'm just not in the mood.
12) Never! I will never co-operate with a foul fiend such as yourself!

if 8-
Sasha: (She grins) You speak the truth. Such respect is admirable. Hmm....say, why don't we team up for a while? I think we'd make a great team. These fools will know the true meaning of fear. What do you say, gorgeous?

if 9-
Sasha: Because it's amusing and because they deserve it. Spinelessness gets you nowhere in life. Trust me, I know.

13) That's no reason to terrorize and murder them!
14) I agree. Into the nailed coffin with them!

if 13-
Sasha: Protective, aren't you? Then you must be one of them, right? It doesn't matter, you're roast meat!
Enemy()Attack()

if 14-
Sasha: Hmm....you really are a cruel one, aren't you? Mmmhmm...excellent. Say...what do you say if we team up for a while? You know....cause some serious havoc together? Hmm?


10) Feisty, aren't you? Fine, fiendling. Let's see what you've got up your sleeves...or down your-
11) No, thanks. Havoc is fine, but I'm just not in the mood.
12) Never! I will never co-operate with a foul fiend such as yourself!

if 10-
Sasha: Hush... I'm with you.
JoinParty()

if 11-
Sasha: Hmpf. Fine, whatever. Then go and don't bother me!

if 12-
Sasha: Wrong answer, fool!
Enemy()Attack() .

Suggestions? Opnions?
In life two things are ceratin, you live, and you die, but for some death is only the begining.

Vae Victus!-Woe to the conquered.

Humans fear what they dont understand....... and they despise what they fear.

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Offline Dead_Ghost

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2005, 05:03:46 PM »
Merely a confusion by me, but, in PC's question number .6 "How the hell (....) the abbyss?" isn't the repetition of two words with the same possible meaning, "hell" and "abbyss", somewhat contradictory/avoidable? :?
Apart this, nice dialogue.
BTW, the correct form is "abyss", with only one "b". In her reply to the PC's question referred above, she says that she was startled by the portal and fell into it. She was on a cliff at the time, then? Or was she flying/levitating? It might be a bit disconcerting, but I'm a bit confused at this point. There's also an "a" missing in "tana'ri". Also, in her reply to number .7 "Say... what do you say (...)" personally, I never advise for people who write to repeat the same word so quickly. Preferably, not even on the same paragraph, but, of course, it's all to your judgement. I'm just nitpicking and trying to help. :D  As an option, why not "So... what do you say to us teaming up for a while?" Again, this is just a very simple alteration, not really necessary or anything. By this reason, at her reply to number .8 "What do you say, gorgeous?" Instead of "say", in order to avoid repetition, why not "believe"?
I said it before, but I'll say it again: her dialogue is entertaining, to say the least ;)  Good job. :)
*nothing to see here. move along, move along*

Offline Eternal Fire

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2005, 06:14:05 PM »
I agree with Ghost that it could use a little polishing.

I also think that there should be a harsher reaction to 9), but that's just my opinion.

Other than that, pretty good.
"That would look so incredibly awesome if it wasn't going to be the last thing I ever saw"

Offline Undertaker

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2005, 12:17:03 AM »
Interesting one. And I see only 2 possible ends: let her join you or fight with her. An option to refuse her like "You are too weak to be a companion of a Bhaalspawn!" (or sth like that) would be nice :) (without causing a fight with possible recruiting her afterwards)
Evil hidden everywhere
Evil has a chilling stare
Null and void of any care
Is where the answer lies
It does no good to beg or cry
It does no good to question why
It does no good it never dies
Evil never dies

Offline Moongaze

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2005, 09:30:07 AM »
Yes, it could be polished a great deal. It was merely a draft.
Thanks for the input, guys...ah, and girls, of course.

Offline Schneidend

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2005, 04:14:59 PM »
Quote from: "Dead_Ghost"
Merely a confusion by me, but, in PC's question number .6 "How the hell (....) the abbyss?" isn't the repetition of two words with the same possible meaning, "hell" and "abbyss", somewhat contradictory/avoidable? :?


In the "multiverse" of Planescape and the Forgotten Realms, "The Nine Hells" and the Abyss are two different planes, with two different sets of fiends living in them. Demons rule the Abyss, while the Devil hierarchy reigns in Hell. Demons are all Chaotic Evil, while Devils are Lawful Evil. The Abyss has many layers, each layer a sort of miniature plane within the plane. Carceri is one of these layers, hence why Sasha refers to herself as a Tanar'ri, the most powerful group of demons, because she is descendant of one, I presume.

Anyway, this is why the PC has the option to call "how the hell did you get out of the abyss" a pun. The BG and IWD games tend to mix up demons and devils, so I hope my little explanation helps.

Offline Feanor

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Sashas joining dlg(Thanks Moon!)
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2005, 04:24:46 AM »
Quote
Carceri is one of these layers


     Carceri is a total different plane.
Real sucks, Barca rules !

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